Mildi – The Funeral

They lowered her into the earth as I stood by bracing a rain I’d hoped never to encounter. My Mildi. My soul’s joy. My adorable salvation.
Whatever mechanism the soul employs to make sense of the world sorely failed me today. I stared at the scene before me as if staring would somehow explain how a cherished spark of adorability could be extinguished irrevocably. Would she be all alone in that wreathed coffin for all of time? Would I, her answered prayer, just stand there? Mildi, was your silence pounding on the insides of the coffin and calling for me? If so, I am sorry that I have failed you yet again, my Mildi. I don’t understand my claim to you—I only know that I have one.
Oh, Mildi. I jot this down in the rain because I will keep you company. I am not going anywhere, you hear? There will be no going back. You were supposed to live a long healthy life. You were supposed to have grey hair; you were supposed to hear me tease you about your greying hair. Do you like the suit I’m wearing? I put it on in the hopes you would awaken just to compliment me. I can’t make it without you. That’s the naked truth. My heart throws tantrums, demanding your presence. How do I explain anything to it? My heart’s tantrums make me shed tears too, you know.
My Mildi, my love—a groan, a sigh, anything! Your voice please. It will breathe life into this dying heart of mine. Don’t worry, my love. These dark clouds that hover above us will not deter me. This graveyard will be our permanent rendezvous point wherein we will talk. The one with your face will tantalize me, but I promise that I will not succumb. Mildi is forever irreplaceable. My Mildi, my Mildi Pooh. My heart, my Mildi Pooh. My soul, my Mildi Pooh.