26th August 2018
Safiyy: This is the story. Give me your honest opinion. Thanks.
Mildi: Hi! I’m sorry I was not notified about your message. I’ll read your piece when I get home later. Thank you for sharing!
Mildi: Reading it now. I must say it is very interesting.
Safiyy: That’s nice to hear. A note: in my culture, dating isn’t an encouraged thing, so keep that in mind. Otherwise, the story may sound weird.
Mildi: Some of the lines are very striking. No, scratch that, most of the lines are very striking. For me, it is not just suicide. Shafi is a murderer … he left the diary there to kill the girl. Hahaa just my thought; I mean if you kill yourself, of course you die, but it comes with a consequence: the person who gets the blame or a part of the blame.
Safiyy: You are the first one who gets the fact that Shafi is seeking vengeance on this girl through the diary.
Mildi: It is like his revenge, like let the girl live with the burden of being the reason why a guy chose the noose. I really like the part where you gave the hint about Shafi killing someone haha. And you have attached words coherently. It was like me not just reading it; I was viewing it. As if I was watching it from a screen. And when you mentioned about wondering where Munazah is, it was like Shafi is indirectly mocking her. Like, oh dear Munazah, now that I have attached your name with my last breath, I wonder how you’ll spend your lifetime.
Safiyy: Any other insights?
Mildi: For me he was not really in love with her. He overrated his feelings. Sometimes a person looks for something/someone and labels her/him as “love of my life”, but the truth is that the search is for the “life of my love”. I think searching for someone or something that gives life to our nature to love is greater than finding life in love. So Shafi found Munazah, chose her as the one who gives life. Just like a line I used to describe a certain person from my past: “Moon of the ocean”. The reason why waves crash. How did you write it? I’m really curious about what inspires a person to write a certain piece especially a piece that transforms itself into life. Haha.
Safiyy: To be honest, it’s autobiographical. I was so consumed by feelings for a girl I had to literally kill that part of me by transforming it into a work of art. A lot of passages are from my own diary, if you want to know the truth.
Mildi: That is why your piece is very striking. It was not just random words attached to each other. It is like fossilized emotions, emotions made into symbols which humans label as “letters”. It is a literary piece, but it is “literary” whole. It takes courage to do that.
Safiyy: It felt more like a necessity. I sometimes think of this piece like a child I had with her.
Mildi: There was also a time when I wrote for someone … just to keep my sanity. Haha. How are you feeling now? Do you still have other writings?
Safiyy: The infatuation has pretty much worn off. Yes, I recently finished the first draft for another short story.
Mildi: I used to write a lot. At first I wrote stories about human violence; I even posted two of them on Wattpad. At first, I liked how my readers reacted, but then I thought “why I am writing this. This is not even inspirational.” From then on, I tried writing about life or the good stuff just to give inspiration to others.
Safiyy: Do you still write?
Mildi: More on poems; some of them are in our native language … I can share some of my English poems if you like. 😀
Safiyy: Please.
Mildi:
“Grass that Rose”
Sometimes I envy the weeds.
Why envy the unwanted?
because they are stubborn, they will still grow wherever they want. You can’t say a blade of grass is better than the other.
Why envy these weeds when you are the roses in the garden?
The grass grows all around. A garden is not needed for it. If I fail, I may still be a rose, but I am missing some parts. If the world fails me, I will still be a rose but withered and discolored. Will I still be beautiful if I’m missing parts of me? Will I still be chosen just because I am a rose?
I want to be here because I am stubborn and not just because I am considered beautiful. What happens when beauty changes? What happens when my garden is insufficient? When the season changes so gardens grew beautifully based on what will survive the season?
I don’t want to be just beautiful.It will be too easy for you to love me and too easy for you to get used to what I offer like how a child gets bored,or like how a teenager stopped playing the song that she once played all the time. What if I will just be seen beautiful out of habit? A boy grabs a ball because a girl picks a doll.
You love me because roses are to be loved.
How can we say that is love? That love is here in this garden?
What do you mean?
As he was leaving the woman asked him to stay
“But I am stubborn, stubborn for something beautiful.“
No blade of grass ever grew again on that garden …
but outside of those walls, life outgrew furrows.
Safiyy: Share another one.
Mildi:
“Birthmarked”
The painter asked his model,
“What part of your body do you want to be the subject of my painting?”
She lifted her shirt before pointing.
“You want me to paint your scar?”
“Yes and no. I want you to paint this, but I consider this as a birthmark.”
“Oh, that’s sentimental. I shall paint your birthmark then.”
“This is not mine. This is my sister’s. The only mark I have on my body that reminds me I was not born alone but she died before even seeing the world. The doctors separated us. I may not remember how it felt to be beside her for nine months in our mother’s womb, I may not remember how it was when she died but at least I have a mark that tells me of her birth.”
The painter finished the painting. A young woman with her sister’s birthmark.
Safiyy: I love it. Who is your favorite poet?
Mildi: e.e cummings. He is fond of deviation; he does not follow rules haha. I learned about him from my previous school.He even spells his name that way “e.e” and not E.E because for him it is a sign of humility.
Safiyy: What do you want to be?
Mildi: I remember during first class meetings, we had to introduce and tell the class what we want to be. I did not mention a specific profession. I said I can’t really tell because that’ll make me focus on one. It’s like you are putting limitations on yourself. This is me; this is my label. My only label. Or this is me; I can be promoted but only in one direction. How about having other routes too? I made the line “up up and away” as my mantra haha.
Safiyy: Sharp. Talking to you is feeling like looking into a mirror.
Mildi: Plot twist: Maybe I am just good with mimicry and I picked up your substance as a person and reflected it back to you hahaaa.
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